It was the saddest Independence week ever. While it was a relief that VP Sara rejected calls to lead DDS people-power moves to oust the president a la 1986, and the June 12 rites proceeded smoothly, even elegantly, flag-raising by the First Family and all, still it felt like konsuwelo de bobo given the pall of grief and gloom enveloping nation — across class, generation, gender, politics, religion — over the tragic deaths on June 8 of Ateneo University basketball scholars Bobet Baterbonia, 19, of Agusan del Sur and Divine Adili, 21, of Nigeria.

CARLOS ISAGANI ZARATE: During what was reportedly a team-building activity—a “break the men” ritual and “band of brothers” rite of passage—at a beach resort in Dipaculao, Aurora  Province, both young men drowned. Two lives ended long before their time. Two families were left shattered. Two communities lost sons they had invested their entire futures in. https://kodao.org/

TONY LOPEZ: The players went missing at 3:04 p.m. that day. Baterbonia was found first, around 3:40 p.m., with rescuers recovering Adili several minutes later. Both were around 50 meters from shore when a deathly rip tide occurred into the vast Pacific Ocean, drowning them.

From Monday to Thursday, the Ateneo management imposed a news blackout. The Ateneo coach, Ted Baldwin, was told to shut up, as were the team manager and the players themselves. https://www.philstar.com/

There is no doubt that the deaths were accidental, but these were accidents waiting to happen, accidents that should have been anticipated and avoided simply by opting for safer spaces, given how dangerous and high-risk and deadly the Aurora waters are known to be. Resort peeps say that the coaches were warned that conditions that day were not good at all but that they were shrugged off, one saying he knew how to read the water, or something like that. So fearlessly macho.

KATRINA S.S. Toxic masculinity comes in many forms, is practiced in many ways. Including bootcamps that are supposed to build your sense of “brotherhood”, which tests not just your endurance as an athlete, but how you will save each other in the face of risk.

Ateneo de Manila University has to realize that this content is already out there about its basketball team’s training. It’s been out in the wild, as spoken of by the team’s own players, in interviews. It IS the bigger context (for good or bad), by default, of what happened to the two players who died during the same bootcamp. There is no erasing this context, there is no silencing it. Yes, it fuels speculation, but that is the state of our social media lives. No, it is not wrong in contextualizing these deaths in the same bootcamp, the same brotherhood that it is supposed to build. https://www.facebook.com/

Perhaps the Jesuits in their ivory towers had no idea? Or maybe they simply trusted that Coach Baldwin knew what he was doing, they were happy with Ateneo’s basketball victories? But at what cost to the boys’ mental and physical wellbeing, never mind the team. And where was all that macho shit when it came to facing the wrath and grief of Bobet’s parents Rovelyn and Rene?

ZARATE:  The families of the victims reportedly learned of their sons’ deaths through social media rather than through direct communication from university officials. Rene’s mother, Rovelyn, publicly showed her righteous outrage. She was not speaking as a lawyer or a sports analyst; she spoke as a mother whose world had collapsed. In public interviews, she repeatedly asked: “Bakit ganoon ang nangyari sa anak ko?”  It was a cry of grief from a parent trying to understand how a healthy young player—whom just days ago she hugged tightly while sending him off at the Davao airport—left his home chasing a dream and returned in a coffin.

JOSE “BUTCH” DALISAY: Ultimately, an institution’s image is made more by what it does than what it says, but the saying is also part of the doing. I would have arranged an immediate meeting between the Ateneo president and team coach and Rene’s family – and at least by Zoom with Divine’s – for them to personally explain what happened and to make the necessary amends. https://www.philstar.com/

ORLY MERCADO: Words cannot erase grief. They cannot bring back lives lost. But honest communication can provide something indispensable in the aftermath of tragedy: dignity for the victims, respect for their families, and trust that the truth is neither hidden nor delayed.

Sometimes leadership is measured not by the decisions made before a tragedy, but by the honesty, humility and courage shown after it. For institutions, as for individuals, character is often revealed not in moments of victory, but in moments of sorrow. https://www.manilatimes.net/

Beyond needing to know why and how Bobet and Divine died, their parents would want to know what that last day was like for their beloved boys. Were they having a good day otherwise, or was it difficult from the start? Their teammates have stories to tell, surely, and we want to hear them, no matter how painful.