Category: sex

car sex ed

it’s the talk of the town, i’m told, but what town, why haven’t i heard or read of it elsewhere, how can i be so out of touch, nothing on twitter, well, i follow just 16 people, haha, and nothing from 150 or so facebook friends, so we’re from another place altogether?

Tired of all these sex talks
Resty O.

The hot topic in my part of town is the death of a young couple, a 15 year old girl and an 18 year old boy, caught inside the boy’s (?) car in post-coital slumber, with the car aircon left turned on. There must have been a leak somewhere enough for the trapped carbon monoxide to drive them to unconsciousness and deliver them to eternal sleep. Reports say a guard discovered them after wondering what a car with its silver cover was doing for such an irregularly long time at the parking lot. The story is at once tragic and hilarious.

This tragedy should not be a subject of laughter, of course, except that people can’t help commenting at the great irony, at how, in the young lovers’ effort to hide the deed from their families, they ended up being discovered, their secret tryst broadcast around the world. The whole idea may yet spell a double tragedy on their families, who are now left to deal with the shame even when they have yet to deal with the pain of sudden loss.

I bring up the topic because it has a connection with the day’s burning issue that I have pointedly avoid to tackle because I thought the usual exchange of accusations is ridiculous, bordering on the pathetic. It’s the same old tiring refrain of two contending parties presuming malice on both sides, a very offensive scenario for me. One side seems to presume the other to have the agenda of ruining the young, tempting them with illicit sex at such a young age. The other side, in their usual uncouth language, resorts to namecalling: religious nutters, hate-filled medievals, religious bigots, etc. I’ve often caught myself in the middle of that fray, and I want out.

That little news of the young lovers’ dying in tight embrace and totally naked tempts me to a comeback, because it may easily be related to how the new Department of Education head reacted to a media question on the matter. Responding to a radio reporter’s question on his position on sex education, he was said to answer “unbecomingly,” “I won’t answer that. You in the media are of no help.” Ouch. Insulting words, surely. He could’ve insulted trimedia more diplomatically.

Maybe Sec. Armin Luistro has also been dead-tired of it all. He might have been referring to the usual nasty exchange that brings everybody nowhere.

I can only imagine what’s going on in the former La Salle president-brother’s head right now: “Oh, wow, here’s the belligerent enemy once again, ready to pounce on a little quote, publish it out of context in a writeup with a mocking tone that suggests I am automatically taking the side of the priests who claim against all reason that sex education will only make the young even more promiscuous. Like it’s that simple. Could it be that the CBCP have noble motives too? Is it all about firming up their grip on earthly power whenever they open their traps?

“First, it must be clear what both sides are saying exactly, and what exactly they want to happen. If the other side says sex education should be offered to the kinder grade so they could learn how to use a condomand how to have sex with the same gender or another so as not to catch premature AIDS, that’s certainly out of the question. Age-appropriate is the word. Maybe we should review what the existing law says and what the current practices are (or have been for years).

“There is no question that kids need to have sex education. It’s unfair to accuse the Catholic Church of not wanting to touch sex, conveniently not mentioning John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body.” I think what the bishops are contending rests on who has the primary authority and responsibility in teaching sex to the kids, the parents or the school, and waht topics exactly are to be taught. That’s the major conflict, as I understand it, and surely a compromise can be struck. For example, a parent must be given the freedom to tell her kid to opt out if she doesn’t believe in the sex ed lessons due to religious beliefs. After all, we offer that option to the Sabadistas (Seventh-Day Adventists), right, who can opt out not to undergo Citizen’s Military Training because it is viewed by their religion as verboten or something, never mind the citizen’s duty to defend his own country when necessary?

“Next, we need to consider the available studies (those that are unbiased and authoritative, of course) on the effects, if any, of sex education on the kids’ sexual behavior later on in life.

“And so on, ad nauseam.”

Maybe that’s where all the animus of the La Salle Brother is coming from? Whatever. I hate to be in DepEd Sec. Armin’s Luistro’s shoes. It’s a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation. I prefer to keep my mouth shut on this one and watch how the events will play out. I just wish we transcend our differences and work on a compromise. Meanwhile, our kids continue to have secret sex inside cars and in other poorly ventilated corners at an age they have no business having sex, bear or abort unwanted children, catch AIDS, or much worse. And both contending parties stand to point an accusingfinger on their favorite enemy. Ho-hum.

how awful for the two kids.   how painful for their parents, families.   and what a lesson for all sexually active kids about a heretofore unknown risk re car sex.   no doubt about it, sex ed is a must, from puberty on.   and it should include not just a sense of the proper time, but the proper place, for sex.

update.  philippine star carried the story pala last tuesday.  Teen lovers found dead in car.

michael & the big bad media

i’ve always been a huge fan of michael jackson, even when he turned white and sorta whacko, just because at his peak he was so f*cking sensational — the greatest entertainer yet that this planet has ever seen, bar none.   when he died and his music videos were all over cable tv and the internet, i was only too happy to wallow and be dazzled anew by michael’s magic.

not that i could forever ignore the usual bad press that he continues to get from big bad media with small minds that just can’t get over the cosmetic changes — as if michael were the only one — or the drugs, or the sexual ambivalence — as if, as if — and of course the child molestation allegations — never giving him the benefit of the doubt, guilty until proven innocent.

the pedophile tag broke michael’s spirit.

MJ’s career saw his thrilling and spectacular rise from the Jackson 5 stardom in the 1970s to cultural mega icon in the 1980s. The two decades that followed were not as bright as they proved to be a disaster for his personal life and public image. In the 1990s, while he was no longer as big a cultural force as in his “Thriller” days, he did continue to sp(in) out hit singles and albums; however, a child molestation charge in 1993 marked his gradual falling out with the American audience appalled by his supposed indiscretion with minors in his Neverland ranch in California.He reportedly agreed to a settlement initiated by the father of the alleged victim to a whooping tune of over $20 million. Ten years later, he faced another child molestation charge, this time brought to court but which ended up in the singer’s acquittal. The stress he suffered from the trial and the negative publicity the 2003 accusations brought forth reportedly got MJ hooked on prescription drugs.

but what if none of it was true?   what if the boys just made it up?

Since Jackson’s passing the Internet has been all a-buzz with reports that Jordan Chandler, the boy who accused Jackson of molestation in 1993, has recanted his story for the second time and is seeking forgiveness for the allegations he made against Jackson. Curiously, this latest developmenthas yet to be confirmed or denied by any major U.S. news organization. The lack of mainstream media scrutiny has fueled speculation about the media’s lack of motivation to publicize the story. “If the media discloses that the accuser lied about being molested, it clears Michael’s reputation. If the charges are removed from his public record, Michael Jackson will achieve a level of martyrdom that no other person has achieved”, that’s a widely voiced response to the quiet storm brewing online and in the streets.

can’t help wondering how it might have changed things for michael, and the world, if those malicious charges had never been raised against him, or if the media had been less credulous, less eager to believe the worst, never mind sales and ratings.    maybe michael would still be around.

scandalizing the media

i join women’s rights advocate dr. sylvia estrada-claudio in bemoaning the way the media are handling the hayden kho scandal (anc media in focus), wallowing gleefully in the stories being revealed about kho and belo, kho and halili, kho and his friends, kho and the wife of one of these friends, and what about the sexy comedienne, kaya pala siya iritang irita tuwing matatanong tungkol kay hayden…  among many other juicy items…  and, surprise surprise, the media that never takes sides — pa-objective kuno — are now taking sides, mostly the side of halili the woman betrayed violated exposed, championed by the notorious lolit solis, no less, who is screaming for kho’s head…  na nabusan ng tubig, what a scene, pero bakit parang hindi siya nagulat, was he expecting it, was it staged to show how hated he is, kawawa naman, ang cute pa naman…   i hear a bading radio anchor wanted to rush to the senate and help the mother make punas punas hayden, lol…

but seriously, the media should stop feasting lang on the scandal and, sabi nga ni dr. claudio, move on, maybe start talking sexual ethics naman.   yes  let’s get beyond who’s more baboy, who’s more guilty, because c’mon they’re all guilty of one mistake or another that contributed to the mess.   too much misplaced trust all around, i would think.   everyone was being naive, failing to anticipate, and protect oneself against, a fall-out.   so yes let’s talk sexual ethics (or the lack of it). just please not the self-righteous anti-hayden ethics of lolit.   rather, a sexual ethics that’s appropriate to the sexuality of the times, where both men and women are more adventurous and aggressive, and they have a right to be, freedom of expression and all that, as long as it’s private and consensual and walang ibang taong nasasaktan, and with full awareness of the additional risks involved in these days of AIDS and STDs, digicams and the internet, and the huge dvd market for erotica and porn.

and puwede ba, lubayan na si vicky belo.   i heard someone asking on startalk, dapat bang tanggalan din ng professional license ang doctora dahil nagpakuha rin siya ng sex video?   ano ba.   ang dapat tanggalan ng lisensiya ay ang mga kaibigang doktor na allegedly responsible for making and selling copies of and uploading the videos without the consent of hayden and the different women.   if we are making excuses for katrina halili, why are we not making excuses for vicky belo?   besides when it comes to sex, kanya-kanyang trip ‘yan.   i can imagine how being video-ed while making love, and then watching the video after, can be a turn on for some couples.   especially narcissists, ‘yung mga gandang-ganda sa sarili nila, would get a real kick out of seeing their beautiful bodies in the physical throes of lovemaking.  which doesn’t make them immoral.

as for the sexual deviance angle that karen davila insists on pursuing vs hayden kho, medyo masalimuot na usapin ‘yan.   because really, deviant in relation to what norm, the norm imposed by the church, or the norm of our sexual nature?   davila hasn’t a clue.   why not follow up na lang on belo’s appeal sa kababaihan: pag may girlfriend o committed na ang lalaki, huwag nang tuksuhin, huwag nang patulan, or at the very least, huwag seryosohin.   indeed.   what was katrina halili thinking, all is fair in love and war?   what was she hoping for when she settled for being just the “other woman” in hiding?   that it would be temporary?   that eventually, hayden would give up vicky for her, mas bata kasi siya at mas maganda?   or that eventually vicky would give hayden up and she katrina would be next in line?   well, she gambled and she lost.   media should stop glorifying her.

careless women

had a real good laugh over dzmm teleradyo‘s latest version of “woe is me, shame and scandal in the family” : “o diyos ko, kay laking kahihiyan nito” *LOL* referring of course to the hayden kho – katrina halili sex videos that have made a nationwide joke, a laughingstock no less, of vicki belo’s hunk hayden kho to the tune of “careless whisper.”

even the alta-siyudad is enjoying the show and laughing out loud.

All of Social Manila [ as well as Non-Social Manila ] these days are in giggles, squeals, and shrieks of perverse delight on their laptops and PCs… In a series of three downloaded videos from cyberspace, but specially in the longest one, Doctor Stud, on-and-off-and-on-again boyfriend of Doctor Sexy, delightfullymanifests his astonishing sexual prowess in a variety of positions with three different women.

Inevitably, it comes to mind that if the remarkable sexual prowess displayed is what Doctor Sexy is enjoying in her relationship with Doctor Stud, and it must be, then many hotblooded women and even more hotblooded gay men have justifiable reasons to be envious of her.

… Exhibitionism Galore. And an Orgy of Voyeurism for Everyone Else.

… Enjoy the Show. It’s quite something, really. Until today I thought only Caucasians could perform phenomenally like that. Doctor Stud certainly has a great future in the pornographic movies industry.

on the other hand, my gay friend iskho lopez is unimpressed.   lifted this status from facebook:

The controversial sex videos between a so-called celebrity doctor and his female partners … were familiar and nothing extraordinary. It revealed the sexual appetite of the said performers, particularly the doctor who demonstrated his prowess in “eating” and predilection for using his fingers in the process.

pahabol pa ni iskho, “the routine is rather gay…”

of course i had to see for myself kung sila nga ba ‘yon and not some look-alikes, and also to have a sense of what kind of porn we’re so scandalized about.   soft porn?   hard porn?   here’s the diff:

“Hard porn shows penetration; in soft porn, there is no penetration. We never see the dick because the dick is soft. Hence, soft porn.”

ay, kinda hard porn nga, but an amateur hidden-angle set-up, maya’t maya out-of-frame, and the video quality is terrible.    if we didn’t know kho and halili, thanks to media that celebrate them, these badly done videos would not sell.   the only reason these particular ones are selling is because we know, and know OF, vicky belo’s hunk of a boytoy and of the belo model who is also fhm‘s 2-time covergirl and a gma7 talent, who once denied being a couple behind belo’s back, and here they are engaging in illicit sex that they’re video-recording, and badly, to boot, how spectacularly perverse.

but, really, perverse only in the sense of being pasaway or sutil, not in the sense of abnormal or aberrant sexual behavior.    hayden isn’t a sicko, he’s just a spoiled handsome brat, parlaying his good looks for the good life and hot sex, but he went too far, i mean, you know, a digital diary of his sexcapades with celebrities, omg, what was he thinking?    hindi niya na-anticipate na puwedeng manakaw ang laptop niya, o makopya ang hard disk?    he should have been more careful.   but then i suppose he wasn’t thinking, except with his dick.   or it could even have been hubris.   things were going so well, luck and love were on his side, maybe he thought it would never end, ahahaha.   nothing never ends.

as for the alleged victim, i don’t buy jo-ann maglipon‘s take of halili as an abused woman who just happened to fall in love with the wrong man, or that halili is much like our sisters and nieces and cousins and daughters.

Katrina was a pretty, 21-year-old who was earning her keep in 2007, when she fell in love with Hayden, then a handsome, 27-year-old doctor of medicine. Except for the fact that the doctor was publicly known to be the boyfriend of Vicki Belo, a doctor much wealthier and far older than he, there was nothing especially scary about him. And except for the fact that Katrina was already FHM’s sexiest woman in the world the year before, and would be voted so again that year, there was nothing especially different about her.

She was just a young, liberated working girl, full of life, with the world before her-much like our sisters and nieces and cousins and daughters. And like many of these girls, at some point Katrina fell in love, and gave her all to her man.

She was also not an insensitive girl. In my interview with her early this year, for YES! Magazine, she acknowledged that Vicki Belo was an issue in her relationship with Hayden. This is how she handled it: She played the suffering wife. Her manand Vicki could go out in the open and enjoy their partnership; she would stay in the condo and wait for when he could find time for her. She never imposed on his schedule; she waited, even if oftentimes she cried while doing so. By denying herself the pleasures of having long conversations with him, of eating out in restaurants with him,of attending showbiz events with him as escort, she believed she was already paying for her sins to Vicki.

By her reckoning, she was behaving as decently as any woman in love could. A woman, by the way, who had been told by her man that she was his other partner “in a parallel life.”

Since then, she has admitted on national television: “Ang tanga-tanga ko. Pero na-in love ako. Pasensiya na po…”

Indeed, how was she to know this doctor would have a fetish for videos? How was she to know there would be a sick environment around the good-looking fellow-of a world seemingly measured by luxury goods and travel, with friends he has wronged and who hated him, of a whole value system neither educated nor decent?

It is she who has been violated here. It is Katrina who has been abused-not once, or twice, but thrice! First, when her lover took videos of their most sexual moments without her knowledge and consent. Second, when some heartless bastards uploaded the videos on the Net. And third, when an unthinking, unfeeling public viewed the videos and enjoyed themselves.

so, it was all right for halili to make patol belo’s kho, she was in love kasi?   so, she can’t be faulted for agreeing to the videotape, she had no idea naman that he was a sicko or that he had enemies who would steal and upload the tapes?   oh pleasssse.   what kind of messages do that send to our sisters and nieces and cousins and daughters?   for all our sakes i would like to think that our girls are made of sterner and smarter stuff.

what’s true is that our girls may be exposed to the same temptations as halili and this is a good way as any to learn a few lessons in love and porn.   love triangles are hell, girls, and halili could have said no to kho, or at the very least said no to video.    so ingat sa mga hayden camera, girls, better praning than sorry.   unless you wanna be a pornstar.   walang sisihan.

by the way, it’s stupid and unrealistic to ask and expect the public to desist from  watching  the sex videos out of pity and/or sympathy for halili and the other women.   that’s like asking us common humans to deny our sexual nature and our sexual curiosity, and it aint gonna happen.   not when the buzz is, tapes of hayden kho with the sexy commedienne and the beauteous boss are coming soon.   does the production quality improve kaya?   abangan ;))