aleli & grace #women’s month

in the war between the legal wife and the mistress significant other of the late iggy arroyo, i find myself wondering how i’d handle it, in either one’s place.

i’d like to think, if i were in the place of aleli — given that six years na since the hubby packed up and left, an annulment good as done, already practically in the bag, except for some filing technicality that has nothing to do with the case — that i would settle for a low-profile kind of grieving, no media interviews, if only for the sake of our daughter.  i would also try very hard to be glad that my ex was well cared-for and well-loved through his illness and last days.

i’d like to think, if i were in the place of grace, that i would have given aleli more space and consideration, since lamang na lamang naman ako, having had iggy to mysef in his last years. i would give aleli the benefit of the doubt, baka naman mahal pa talaga niya si iggy, and perhaps she was not entirely to blame for the breakup of the marriage.  again, if only for the sake of the children, i would have tried to keep to my part of the agreement re wake attendance, and not call more attention to myself than was necessary.

of course there’s more to it — the animosity, the one-upwoman-ship — than meets the eye. there’s the fortune that iggy left, most likely some of it to grace?  which may be why aleli insists on behaving like the grieving legal wife — she will insist on her share, never mind the annulment?  and she will contest grace’s right to administer the estate, as reportedly willed by iggy?

on women’s day / month, it’s hard not to wish that aleli and grace felt and behaved more kindly towards each other.  after all, it’s a sad enough time for them and the children without the negative vibes.  but yes, easy for me to say. and yes, animosity between the women, in cases like these, can get really deep and intense, lalo na when there’s money involved.

it’s not new, of course, a dead man’s mistress girlfriend, sometimes mistresses girlfriends, making an appearance at the wake, to the distress of the wife and children, sending titillated tongues wagging.  but iggy having been a public figure, the spectacle of wife and mistress girlfriend vying for public sympathy, televised for all the nation to see, has been rather disconcerting, colored by all sorts of speculation as to the motives of the women, and neither coming out of it smelling good (so to speak).

a proper divorce law would have settled the break-up of the aleli-iggy marriage much sooner.  then maybe iggy could have married grace and her rights would be unassailable.

but we don’t have a divorce law, the exception in a civilized world, thanks to bishops and priests in cahoots with predominantly male congressmen and senators legislators still living in the dark ages, with little respect, or real love, for women.

ironically enough, both aleli and grace seem to be in the good graces of the church, both women being equally accommodated in all church rituals.  it’s like saying the church condones the kabit-system, which, in tandem with their opposition to the RH bill, is like saying, go forth, men, and multiply, with multiple women yet!  male chauvinism rules, alas!


  1. Divorce law could have avoided that. The annulment law does not address the needs of women. Both the wife (failed marriage) and the mistress (current lover) are equally left in limbo. If there is divorce, the judge would grant them separation with equitable partition/distribution of assets between iggy and aleli in a timely manner. But since there is no divorce law, iggy and grace would have to endure several years of waiting without assurance of proper closure. Kinamatayan na yung annulment case.

  2. What’s the truth ba?

    There was a first which overlapped with the second for some time. Then this second overlapped with a third. The second maintains the tie up to the present.

    But the third said that the second is still overlapped with the first because the tie with the first is still binding.

    Perhaps a Divorce Law will prevent overlapping…

    • Not only will a Divorce Law untie the bound, perhaps, it may also untangle things that are in a bind.

      Take for example the need for a pre-nec agreement. I believe this will effectively be avoided.

  3. manuelbuencamino

    After everything that Iggy did for his older brother Mike, the least Mike could have done for Iggy and his daughters was to mediate between the two women regarding Iggy’s funeral arrangements and inheritance. He could have told both women that he would handle the funeral arrangements para walang gulo. Other families with similar problems have mitigated the animosity by making arrangements where the two women and children, if any, are allowed to say goodbye at different hours. As to the inheritance, again he could have requested the two women to avoid giving interviews (and their lawyers too) and to just file cases in court if no fair division of inheritance can be reached. I think as the padre de familia Mike could have done something for the younger brother who got him out of messes so many times.

  4. it’s a sad state that the law on succession and the family code on marriage were perhaps made with dollops of hypocrisy. so if love doesn’t conquer all, the karmic thing is that neither does money. the former lasts (tiitanic-movie like), the latter you can’t take with you. and when the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.