Randy David, AIDS & Sex

Public Forum 17 April 89.

TANONG: Doktora, papaano po ba makakaiwas sa AIDS?

DRA: Ang natatanging paraan ay sexual abstinence.

RANDY DAVID: Mahirap ho yata yon!

Aliw na aliw ako sa reaction ni Randy D. Tao rin pala siya! Pero sayang at hindi niya tinutukan. Oo, mahirap pigilin ang panggigigil. Lalo na for people who have active sex lives, mahirap ang mag-abstinensiya. Okey lang siguro kung Kuaresma, time for penitensiya. But forever? As a way of life? NO SEX? No way.

Actually, sey ng American literature on AIDS, hindi naman lahat ng sex ay bawal. Ang bawal lang (LANG daw, o) ay yung pagtatalik, kung saan nagkakasalinan (nagkaka-exchange) ng body fluids ang magkatalik, as in sexual intercourse, front or back. Balita ko, less ang panganib of transmission ng the AIDS virus sa halikan, unless sobrang deep at prolonged at may kagatan pa ang kissing. Sabi rin, kaysa kissing, mas may peligro ang oral sex o pagtanggap ng semen / tamod sa bibig.

Sa ibang salita, other sexual activities – tulad daw ng masturbation o pagbabati, solo or with a partner or group; tulad ng masahe, hard or soft, powder or lotion – are all right. Medyo limited nga lang ang options as of now, pero we are encouraged to be creative. Mag-imbento raw ng new ways of coming to a climax. Mag-fantasy. Mag-ilusyon.

DRA: O kaya, gumamit ng kondom ang lalaki tuwing magtatalik.

RANDY: Kailangang magbaon kami ng kondom?

Ha-ha. Hassle nga naman, ’no? Nakakasira ng diskarte.

Maliban dyan, ang bigat ng pahiwatig – na duda ka sa iyong katalik, o duda sa iyo ang iyong katalik. Also, among machos, hindi uso ang kondom. Ano sila, takot?

DRA: Filipino males are the queerest in the world. Mga takot sa asawa.

COUNSELLOR: Ang overseas workers na nakakapag-uwi ng AIDS virus, hindi umaamin. Sinasabi sa asawa na nagkasakit sila sa abroad, na-opera sila, at malamang ay noon sila nasalinan ng infected na dugo.
Interesante, di ba? Hahanap at hahanap ng palusot si Mister. Mahirap na nga naman. Masamang magalit si Misis.

Kaya, girls, ha, take note. Yang ating mga mister, more often than not and in more ways than one, mga baluktot ang dila. Kung masama ang kutob mo – maybe alam mong malapit sa bargirls at madalas ay inuumaga – YOU should take the initiative, protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. Ikaw ang humiling na gumamit siya ng kondom kapag kayo’y magtatalik. Kung siya ang hihintayin mong magkusa, malamang ay he won’t. Or, at least, not right away. Nag-iisip pa siya ng palusot.

MRS: O, wag ka nang magkondom. Safe ako.

MR: Ha? … Ah …. Safe ka?

MRS: Oo. Bakit, ikaw, hindi?

MR: Ako? Hindi? Safe? Safe!

Ang aral nina Apo at Imelda

Bongga 16 April 1989

Sa simula parang okey na rin ang premiere offering ng Isyung Pinoy: “Imelda Marcos – Paruparong Bakal.” Have we learned daw our lessons from the Marcos experience? Bakit tila raw nandito pa rin si Ma’am?

The first documentary film on Imelda Marcos since EDSA, ikinuwento ang pinagmulan ng dating First Lady, ang maralitang buhay ng kanyang kinagisnan, at ang mga landas na kanyang tinahak patungo sa Malakanyang at, pagkatapos, sa Hawaii.

Magandang supplement to your readings if you’ve read Chit Pedrosa’s and similar Imelda Marcos books. Consistent with these ang perspective ng Isyung Pinoy, na binack-up with interviews and testimonials of current credible figures like Hilarion Henares, Alejandro Lichauco, Adrian Cristobal, Manuel Duldulao, Odette Alcantara, Francisco Tatad, Steve Psinakis, Virgilio Enriquez, Ishmael Bernal, Tessie Tomas, Gloria Romero, Charito Planas, Cecile Guidote Alvarez, Pitoy Moreno, Christian Espiritu, among others.

Lumabas na Imelda is like any one of us: Filipino, with human frailties, and whom circumstances drove to be both good and bad, beautiful and ugly, generous and greedy. It was rather kind. How Pinoy. Like Tessie Tomas’ “Meldita”, the script by itself avoided getting personal, avoided judging, instead let interviewees opine for themselves and for the public about Imelda.

Ang thesis ng Isyung Pinoy is that ang traits ni Imelda ay traits nating lahat. Si Imelda ay salamin – kung ano siya, iyon tayo. In the same situation, any one of us would do an Imelda.

Halfway through the show, the docu became repetitive, interviewees were repeating themselves and repeating each other, the same with the video clips of the Marcoses, then and now, then and now, flitting from one opinion to another, one analysis to another, sometimes affirming each other, sometimes contradicting, and then starting over, once upon a time, na sa kabuuan ay sabog ang effect – parang salamin this time ng state of mind and heart ng Pinoy filmmakers and writers na lumikha nito.

At a certain point, when I was seeing too much of “Meldita”, it occurred to me na parang Sic O’clock News ang dating – ano kaya, nagpapatawa kaya sila, na pa-subtle? Pero hindi, hindi naman tongue-in-cheek ang delivery nina Gina Alajar at Alex Padilla. Ano yon? Akala ko ba, docu.

Ilang taon na ang nakakaraan mula nang umalis si Imelda, ilang aklat na ang nasusulat tungkol sa kanya, and yet parang nagsisimula pa lang ang pagsasaliksik ng Isyung Pinoy. Malinaw na sila mismo have yet to make sense of Imelda, kaya sila rin ay nagtatanong pa.

I have no quarrel with their thesis. There is something to the assertion that Imelda is a reflection of the Filipino. But I am disappointed that they didn’t pursue the thought further, that is, towards more definitive conclusions either about Imelda or about Filipino culture and the Filipino personality.

For instance, ikinuwento lang na lumuwas si Imelda sa Maynila to seek her fortune, and naging magazine cover-girl siya, tapos beauty queen at model, tapos she married Ferdinand Marcos, a congressman who would be president. That was worth a comment. Hindi ba rags-to-riches story din ito, parang kay Nora Aunor, na political ang context at mas matindi ang stakes? Hindi ba ganyan din ang maraming pelikulang Pinoy, from poverty and oppression to wealth and power? So what does it mean? Though poor, as a people we have in every one of us the power to lift ourselves up, the way Nora did, the way Imelda did, the way Sharon and FPJ do in the movies?

And what about the path Imelda took, via magazine covers, beauty contests, fashion shows to fame and glory? Showbiz na showbiz, di ba? What does it mean? Perhaps that we’re natural performers, we have a thing for cameras and klieg lights, instinctively we know it’s the fastest way to the top?

Also the docu glossed over Marcos’ role in the making of the imeldific in Imelda. I’d have followed up Planas’ remark that Imelda studied hard. I read somewhere, sa Free Press yata, na early in the marriage Imelda felt inadequate to the demands of Marcos’ political stature and she almost, if not quite, had a nervous breakdown, but that eventually, motivated by Marcos, she buckled down to work. Sana in-explore ang pagkaka-mold ng mind ni Imelda: what books did Marcos make her read, what books did she go on to read on her own, which writers influenced her thinking the most, how did she rationalize the things she did.

Finally, I’d have looked deeper into Henares’ and Planas’ comments that Imelda didn’t like to be asked or reminded about her beginnings, and Alcantara’s about Imelda being nouveau riche. In one of Pedrosa’s books, she suggests that what changed Imelda was the way she was snubbed by the old rich. It made her lie about her roots and it made her vengeful. Kung totoo ito, ang new-rich ang may problema — what to do with, how to handle, wealth and power. Obviously, Imelda handled it wrongly, or she wouldn’t have fallen so unceremoniously. But then what were her options? And what are the options of Imeldas in-the-making?

I’m not convinced that given the chance, any one of us would do an Imelda. I wouldn’t. My mother wouldn’t. My daughter won’t. While we all may share with Imelda certain traits and predispositions, still we are all individually unique with different upbringings, different hang-ups, different roles to play, except for “Meldita”.

No, Gina, we haven’t yet learned our lessons from the Marcos experience. In fact we can’t seem to figure out what’s significant and what’s not about that experience. Parang nabobo tayo ng martial law at ng censorship. Parang pumurol ang mga isip natin.

O baka naman natatakot lang tayong mag-isip at magtanong, maaaring we’re just not ready to confront our selves. We might not like what we see, mirror or no mirror.