Isyu 2 October 1995

Dahil sa AIDS, peligroso na ngayon ang pakikipagtalik unless you’re protected by an HIV-proof latex condom. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse (any position) as well as unprotected oral sex involve kasi the exchange of body fluids between partners, and this is the big NO-NO since it’s a sure-fire way of getting (or passing on) the AIDS virus.

Colors suggests that we re-invent sex instead. “Sex isn’t just one thing. It’s anything you care to try.” Put more candidly, sex isn’t just copulating or fucking, it’s anything that turns you on makes you come.

Colors goes for treating the whole body as a complex field of pleasure zones. “So make a map: lick armpits and abdomens, suck toes and fingertips, nibble your lover’s inner thighs. Create new sensations. Dominate with a tickle. Soothe with a massage.” Tips: bare butts are for biting, ears for exploring.

There’s also “dry fucking”: as long as you’re covered, you can grind against each other all you want. And bareback riding, which can bring a woman to orgasm (the one who plays horse gets a lower-back massage, complete with lubricants). And finally, some eating – start with spaghetti and tomato sauce on the small of the back, then turn over for dessert, that’s scoops of chocolate and vanilla ice cream on navel and pubis. Happy eating.

Colors, however, completely avoids the M-word (masturbation, what else) even if that’s what dry fucking and bareback riding are all about. In fact, masturbation (or the manipulation of genitalia to achieve orgasm without coitus or intercourse), whether do-it-yourself or with a partner, is as safe as sex gets. With-a-partner is more fun, of course, but Amanda Page is right, you don’t need an-other all the time; sometimes a vibrator or finger or hand will do. And there’s nothing “kinky” or unusual about it. It’s what humans normally resort to, in private, when sexual energies run strong and a partner is unavailable. Nowadays even partners resort to it, in aid of AIDS prevention. Like the AIDS posters suggest, beat it! And be safe.

It was Martin Nievera on M.A.D. who introduced Amanda Page as one of the “kinkiest” ladies in town. As usual, he exaggerates. I don’t think Amanda is kinky at all. I’d say she’s just having a little fun. Alam niyang sex-talk has shock-value, so she’s deliberately playing along with media and getting a lot of mileage out of it.

It’s not only the showbiz press that’s hanging on Amanda’s every word these days, even public affairs professionals are. Like she’s already made it to Dong Puno Live where to Dong’s delight, she talked naughty again: the man she marries has to be better at satisfying her than her own hands. Maldita talaga. Well, at least she’s consistent. I suggest though that she take up (not just self-satisfaction but) AIDS prevention as a cause, too. At best, she’s raising sexual consciousness and could be ushering in a sexual revolution that would arrest the spread of AIDS.

What I’m saying is, it’s all right to talk about sex and AIDS. Given the sexual promiscuity around us, we will soon enough be faced with an AIDS epidemic of deadly proportions unless we talk some more about sex and AIDS. In fact, we should get used to talking about sex and AIDS. If we’re lucky, the discourse might even see us maturing sexually as a people.

By sexual maturity I mean a certain sophistication about sex, such that we are in control of our sexual energies and not the other way around. Like, you don’t have to give in to your libido or libog or panggigigil all the time. It won’t kill you to say no and do nothing or something else, like taking up sports or a cold shower. Besides, deliberate restraint is as good for the soul as occasional sex. Builds character. The kind of character that doesn’t need censorship.

Also, sexual maturity means a certain sophistication about romantic love, which does not always (or immediately) have to lead to sex, especially in this age of AIDS. Love means never having to say you’re sorry. Love means keeping yourself clean and safe for the one you’ll really marry. And usually s/he comes later than sooner. Take it from me, the first ones don’t usually last.

For those of us who were part of the make-love-not-war generation of the ‘60s, it’s like coming full circle, back to the very rules that we had sought to change, back to the same monogamous relationships that we had sought to escape. Ang masakit, it’s not a matter of principle, this homecoming; rather it’s a matter of life and death.

Isyu 25 Sept 95

Colors tells you how you don’t get AIDS. You do not get AIDS from bloodsuckers like mosquitoes. You do not get AIDS from a toilet seat or in a swimming pool. You do not get AIDS from sharing food or a glass or other utensils with an infected person. You do not get AIDS from eating food prepared by an infected person. You do not get AIDS from kissing alone or by shaking hands. There are no known cases of HIV infection from nonsexual social contact.

Where did the AIDS virus come from? Multiple choice: (A) Humans caught the virus from green monkeys whose brains they ate raw. (B) It was caused by radiation from French nuclear testing in the Sahara Desert. (C) It was created by Soviet scientists while testing biological weapons. (D) It was cause by a gay sex drug. (E) It’s a C.I.A. plot. (F) White tourists brought the virus to Africa. (G) U.S. soldiers caught it from having sex with monkeys in Vietnam.

I’d go with G except it’s a myth daw like all the rest. Anyway, like Colors says, it doesn’t matter where AIDS came from. What matters is that it’s here: “An estimated 11 to 12 million people on the planet are HIV positive. More than two million are Asian.” And what’s awful is that it’s an ugly and painful, deadly and incurable disease.

The message of AIDS is simple enough.It’s saying that sexual promiscuity can kill you. It’s saying you should be careful who you swing with, specially if it’s someone new and exciting whom you don’t know from Adam (or Eve). Colors gets the message across.

On a spread. Left page, Sara’s face. Right page, Miguel’s face. CAPTION: Last night Sara and Miguel slept together.

Next spread. Three faces (all guys) each with an arrow pointing to Sara. Three faces (all girls), arrows pointing to Miguel. CAPTION: Last year, Sara and Miguel each slept with three other people.

Next spread. . CAPTION: Each year before that, those people slept with three other people. Over four years, Sara and Miguel will have slept with people who have slept with a total of 80 people. Some forty faces each around Sara’s and Miguel’s, arrows indicating both same-sex and opposite-sex partnerships.

Next spread. A sea of faces, I.D.-size and smaller, crowding both pages. Over seven years, those people will have slept with 1,460 people. And over 12 years, those people will have slept with 531, 444 people. (It would take another 728 pages to show you all their pictures). By the way, in Paris where Sara and Miguel live, one in 100 people is HIV positive. You might want to use a condom.

And you might want to have your blood tested, just to know, just to be sure you’re clean (maawa ka sa asawa mo). Actually, the AIDS tests is a test for HIV antibodies, which are molecules produced by your immune system to fight the virus if/when HIV enters your body. A small amount of your blood is mixed with some chemicals; if HIV antibodies arepresent, the mixture turns yellow. If you’re sexually active, you should be tested every six months; this is how long it takes for HIV antibodies to show up in the blood. Ibig sabihin, if you get tested soon after getting infected, you could test negative even if you already have HIV in your body.

Colors doesn’t tell you to stop having sex but it tells you to be careful. Practice safe sex. If you’re a guy, wear a condom everytime you have sex with a partner. If you’re a girl, carry a condom everytime you go out, just in case he doesn’t. While condoms are not foolproof, it’s the best protection there is vs. HIV transmission right now when your hormones are raging and you just wanna have sex.

Condoms come in all styles, colors, sizes, and flavors, but there’s only one way to wear them. (1) Make sure you don’t tear or damage the condom when you tear the package open. (2) Pinch the tip of the condom to let the air out and make room for semen. (3) Place condom on head of erect penis and unroll it down the entire shaft. (4) When you’re finished, pinch the base of the condom as you withdraw to prevent semen from spilling out. Tie condom in a knot and put in trash. Do not re-use.

[Next: Safe sex. Monogamy. Masturbation]

Isyu 18 Sept 95

I came across the special AIDS issue of Benetton’s Colors magazine. Great graphics, plain language. We could use one like it in English and Tagalog to get the reality of AIDS across.

Many Pinoys actually think AIDS can’t touch them. Mga macho kasi na walang kinatatakutan. Actually, only celibates (people who completely abstain from sex with a partner) have nothing to fear. Everyone else, male and female, young and old, rich and poor, gay and straight, who is sexually active is a candidate for AIDS. And every sexual encounter is a potential AIDS encounter just because in real life, rare is the male (less rare the female), married and not, who does not indulge now and then in unprotected fornication with a stranger or with a number-two for the pure pleasure of it, thus laying himself open to the virus. Sa madaling salita, bihira ang lalaking hindi nangangaliwa at one time or another; ibig sabihin, bihira ang hindi na-e-expose to the possibility of infection.

It’s easy to catch the AIDS virus. Just one orgasmic session with a person who’s infected and that’s it, chances are, you’re infected too. The problem is, there are no warning signs. You can’t tell by looking if a lover, long-time or prospective, has the AIDS virus or not; one can have the virus and not (yet) be sick; one can have the virus and neither know it nor show it.

Colors explains:

“AIDS starts with a virus, it’s called HIV. Human Immuno-deficiency Virus. . . . HIV exists in order to propagate itself. It competes for space. It forages for food. Nothing personal – it’s just doing its job (which is) to expand and take over its host (that could be you) and then infect somebody else, and so on. When it gets into your body, it invades while blood cells, especially T-cells. Eventually (sometime between two years and more than a decade later) your T-cells become overwhelmed. Your immune system stops working. You become an easy target for pneumonia, cancers, parasites, or other infections. When you are infected with HIV and contract one of these you have AIDS. As far as we know, everyone who gets infected with HIV eventually gets AIDS. And so far, everyone who develops AIDS eventually dies. It’s that simple.”

Bright red splotch of blood on glossy white. “HIV lives in the body fluids of infected people. It lives in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, menstrual flow and breast milk. When body fluids pass from one person to another, the virus can get passed on too. Blood in people who are infected has a high concentration of HIV. Even a very small amount can transmit HIV.”

Smear of semen on white. “Semen not only has a very high concentration of HIV, it is usually transmitted in relatively large quantities. It is the most common carrier of HIV.”

Menstrual red on white. “Menstrual blood is a fluid consisting of blood, mucus, and vaginal secretions. Like ordinary blood, it can contain a high concentration of HIV.”

Smear of white on gray. “Vaginal fluid can contain high concentration of HIV. But the relatively small amount of vaginal fluid exchanged during sex makes it a less likely transmitter than semen.”

Foamy saliva on white. “A small amount of HIV can be found in saliva of infected people. But not always. Saliva contains substances that may prevent the virus from reproducing.”

Drop of breast milk. “Although it contains a small amount of HIV, there have been few reports of infection. HIV-positive mothers in developed countries usually do not breast feed. In developing countries the benefits are believed to outweigh the possibility of infection.”

A man’s lower butt, crotch blacked out. “HIV needs a warm wet welcome. It cannot get in through unbroken skin. It cannot get past a latex barrier. And it cannot live for very long outside a human body. Anal mucous membranes are delicate and almost always tear during intercourse. Risk of infection is greatly reduced by using a latex condom and a water-based lubricant (oil-based lubricants damage latex).”

A woman’s crotch, pubis blacked out. “The vagina is an ideal place for the HIV virus to enter the body. Unprotected sexual intercourse is the perfect way of transmitting live HIV.”

Close-up profile of wet lips. “The inside of the mouth is lined with mucous membranes which tear frequently, like when you brush your teeth. Unprotected oral sex is dangerous.”

You can also get HIV by sharing needles (if you’re into drugs). Or you can get it from your mother (if you’re a baby). Or from infected blood (in case you get a transfusion). And in an operating room (if you go under the knife, scalpel, etc.).

[NEXT: How you don’t get AIDS, AIDS test, safe sex.]