Category: culture

In defense of tsismis

Isyu 23 January 96

Natabunan nga ba ng Jenny-Gabby scandal ang EVAT, jueteng, at iba pang isyu? Dapat nga bang lubay-lubayan ng media ang katsitsismis about the private hells of the rich and famous dahil wala naman itong katututuran except as escapist fare for the poor and obscure?

These are questions raised by media mismo, rendered schizoid as we are by showbiz scandals. On the one hand we happily hype up the Jenny-Gabby story, milk it of all it’s worth, the better to sell our papers; on the other, we are defensive about it, express distaste for the whole exercise, and righteously regret the wasted space and energy; sometimes, all on the same page.

The two-mindedness is to be expected, and it begins with the individual, that is, with you and me. Every one of us is just as divided about gossip. We enjoy it but we feel sort of guilty when we indulge. The guilt comes from social conditioning. Our elders’ position has been that, if you have nothing nice to say about a person, it’s better (classier) to say nothing. They are greatly influenced by the Church, of course, which institution discourages gossip or idle talk as the work of the devil for it evokes uncharitable (even, impure) thoughts, and sows disharmony rather than love among neighbors.

Yet gossip persists, and I had always wondered why. Is it a matter of pleasure, like sex? Or is it purely a matter of mind, like curiosity? Basta my gut feeling was, there’s more to gossip than cheap thrills. Like maybe it serves some irrepressible human need, one more intense than the need for social approval. I thought maybe it had to do with a need to connect with community, to be assured that one’s joys and pains are not all that unique, na kumbaga hindi ka nag-iisa.

Besides, as a student of human behavior, I could never help delighting in the rich sociological and psychological data that showbiz gossip provides. Trailblazer kasi ang tingin ko sa showbiz artists; they dare break rules and attempt new ways of being and relating. It’s like they’re testing the waters for us, the better maybe to show us which way to go or not go, particularly when it comes to sex, marriage, and family.

Well, the good news is, I’ve just been lent a book that confirms my gut feel that gossip is as ineradicable as sex. In The Moral Animal (1994) Robin Wright explains why we gossip (among other things) in terms of the new science of evolutionary psychology, which school of thought traces the roots of human nature to the workings of natural selection in the environment in which the minds of our ancestors evolved. According to Wright, “people’s minds were designed to maximize fitness in the ancestral environment” and trading gossip, for one, was in aid of survival.

“To judge by many hunter-gatherer societies where most behavior is public, and gossip travels fast,” Wright writes, “. . . the most common commodity of exchange, almost surely, was information. Knowing where a great stock of food has been found, or where someone encountered a poisonous snake, can be a matter of life or death. And knowing who is sleeping with whom, who is angry at whom, who cheated whom, and so on, can inform social maneuvering for sex and other vital resources.”

Darwinian anthropologists studying the world’s peoples have been finding not only surface differences among cultures but also “deep unities.” Not only Pinoys, but “. . . people in all cultures not only gossip, but gossip about the same kinds of things.” Apparently, people have an inherent thirst for tales of triumph, tragedy, bonanza, misfortune, extraordinary fidelity, wretched betrayal, and so on, which are said to “match up well with the sorts of information conducive to fitness.”

In other words, gossip has always had a place in the human scheme of things. Then as now gossip about failed marriages (especially Sharon’s, Dina’s, Princess Diana’s) and unconventional relationships (like that of Nora, Vilma, Kris) informs the way we maneuver in our own marriages and relationships.

The problem is not that we’re gossiping too much about Jenny and Gabby. I agree with Patrick D. Flores (Isyu 18 Jan), the problem is that media have failed to give the people “an intelligent perspective on what is going on, it has forfeited the chance to imbue the controversy with really useful knowledge about society and people,” in particular, about the politics of marriage and gender.

I disagree, however, with his statement (wishful thought?) that from hereon, “heterosexual couples would have to reckon with the idea that matrimony is from the outset dysfunctional.” That’s a sweeping generalization if I ever heard one. If it were so, then monogamy would not still be with us. Besides, Jenny’s and Gabby’s marriage is / was far from typical and therefore not an appropriate gauge of either the efficacy or inefficacy of marriage.

I think it’s young unmarried women who have the most to learn from Jenny’s exposé. The facts of life are not all about sex; the facts of life are also about men like Gabby and how marriage changes them. Take it from Jenny, girls, look before you leap, especially if the guy’s promising “to court you forever” (what a line!).

(Editor Iskho Lopez: We asked Gabby what his plans for the more immediate future was. His candid reply: “I guess . . . to remain single.” We took it as a joke. Gabby? Single? Instead we presented an alternative. What about an affair with a gay lover? He took it as a joke. But it seems so logical in this day and age that only a gay lover would take all that alleged abuse that Jenny turned into a public issue—and in the end, shoulder the expense and the humiliation as well—all for the love of Gabby Concepcion, that is.)

Coming to terms with Christmas

Isyu 26 Dec 1995

Until last year I always wondered, come December, what it would be like to simply snub Christmas like some people I know who heartily hate the season’s trappings – from the décor na kukutikutitap to the shopping and cooking till you drop (they’d rather drop acid or ecstasy anytime) – but I would always cop out just because the very idea freaked out the kids and their tatay. Besides, I had to admit it, Christmas isn’t all that bad, specially for the family. At least once a year, it gives us the chance to touch base with our larger families, and if only for the children’s sakes, why ever not. Of course I was always sustained by the thought that there’d come a time when the kids would be off on their own (I can hardly wait) and I’d be old enough to retire.

Pero last year, Katrina turned 18 and in lieu of a big party on her birthday (December 22), she settled for a small one. Not out of any great love for her poor parents, however. I mean, it wasn’t to save us the extra expense. It was so she could ask for an extra 3,000 bucks to spend on goodies for giving away to streetchildren on her big day.

She had it all thought out. Sixty bucks per child was not much, but (I had to agree) if she spent it wisely, it could buy enough basic food and maybe a toy and enough candies to sweeten the three days coming. Her tatay, however, was less than enthusiastic. Anak, sey niya, sindikato lang ang makikinabang. Except the sindikato story didn’t faze my unica hija, who was sure there were free-lance streetchildren out there and that she could find them with her good tatay’s help.

She was in charge all the way, from canvassing prices to budgeting to shopping (which included a trip to Divisoria) to bagging to distributing. Each bag contained food for eating at once – two sandwiches (one chicken, one ham; a hundred sandwiches all in all, prepared at the break of dawn para fresh from the bakery ang tinapay) and a tetrapak of fruit juice; also, food that would last – an assortment of cookies and candies to save and / or share; and, for play, either a rubber ball or a plastic badminton set. She cared little for appearances – nothing shiny or showy or glittery, rather the simplest and most sensible, meaning the cheapest paper and plastic bags. She cared more about filling each and every one with her own two hands, para sigurado raw siya na every child gets as much in volume and variety, walang kulang, walang sobra, as every one else.

It was a success, of course, and it felt very good all around. Kahit papaano kasi, bugbog din kaming mga kabahay niya, lalo na ang unica yaya naming si Dorie with whom I shared a deep sigh of relief (thank God she turns 18 only once) the next morning.

Well, a year later, believe it or not, we’re back at it. This time she’s preparing a hundred bags for 75 streetkids and 25 street-lolas and street-lolos; instead of a toy, each lola and lolo gets a pastel-colored face towel and a bath soap. To raise the money, she saved half her daily school allowance for a couple of months (no fancy lunches, no kitkats); the rest her tatay and kuya and I and her lola next-door volunteered in installments as money came in. Right now, a balikbayan uncle is offering to get crayons and pads for the kids, so now I’m wondering what to get the lolos and lolas, maybe candles and matches?

Mahaderang anak that she is, Ina has disabused me of my agenda for a Christmas-less existence. My generation was into making love-not-war and communal living, which meant sharing resources not only on Christmas but all year round. It was hard to sustain, of course, and most of us ended up scrooges or in cynical compromise with the establishment. Now it’s the next generation’s turn and I’m learning a different kind of giving, the selfless and anonymous kind. It’s a whole different trip, and I couldn’t have come up with it myself.

Gotta run. There’s chicken to boil and cheese to grate for the 200 sandwiches we’re making first thing tomorrow. Sana kasing ligaya’t hectic ang inyong Pasko.

Anybody’s guess may not be as good as Rene Mariano’s

Manila Standard 12 Jan 92

Psychics and seers, led by Rene Mariano and Jojo Acuin, are the biggest TV stars of the New Year. The two were everywhere: not just in sosyal talk shows like Inday Badiday’s Face to Face and Jullie Yap Daza’s Tell the People and Johnny Litton’s Oh no!… but even in conservative political fora like Louie Beltran’s Straight from the Shoulder, Rod Villa’s Talakayan, and Dong Puno’s Viewpoint.

In the beginning of 1991 all our seers rendered dire predictions of deaths and grave disasters for the nation. We only realized how grave when Mt. Pinatubo erupted, rendering millions of people uprooted and homeless.

Of course there is that failed prediction of Manila flooding and sinking. Manila did not flood and sink but Ormoc did. The mistake was in identifying the place to be Manila; and Ormoc did not quite sink the way we imagined Manila would, but it did sink in the sense of being briefly and suddenly flooded as to drown people and land.

A similar case involved Armida Siguion-Reyna of Aawitan Kita fame some years back. Tita Midz used to be very interested in the occult (twice she asked me, in my astrologer days, for birthchart readings), but one day a psychic (I’m not sure which tool – cards, birthchart, palms, vibrations – was used) predicted a possibly fatal attempt on her life. I can’t remember now what the details were but it was enugh to freak Armida out and make her quit on manghuhulas. Nothing happened to her, but sometime after that, Elvira Manahan was murdered.

The psychic’s mistake was in identifying the victim as Armida, which was an easy mistake to make: Armida and Elvira are women of the same mold, parehong alta sociedad, parehong mataray, may pagka-pareho rin ang itsura.

To paraphrase Rene Mariano: psychic vibrations / visions do not usually come in clear stark images, more through a kind of mist. One “sees” enough to sense the basic situation, but not exactly where and when it will happen or who exactly is / are involved.

Our seers are good at what they do. They’re arare breed of “sensitives” with a gift for tuning in to another dimension of reality and accessing a sort of image bank of past, present, and future.

Of all the seers who take to television every New Year, I’d say Rene Mariano is the best of the lot. This is why I listened very closely to his prediction that the next President will be male; he’ll have business ties / connections abroad; he’s not really a politician, “tipong ngayon lang, at hindi pa siya nag-iingay” (as of New Year).

Immediately Winnie Monsod concluded: Danding Cojuangco. I’m not sure. Around that time nag-iingay na si Danding; he was figuring in the nws a lot. Also, he’s not the only presidentiable with business ties abroad. Fidel Ramos would also fit the bill. And between Cojuangco and Ramos, I’ll take Ramos anytime.

Except Ramos, so far, has been disappointing. He quit government just when there was the Pinatubo disaster to deal with. He joined the LDP, only to lose out on the nomination. If he doesn’t get his act together soon, he might have to settle for Vice (which might not be a bad idea), like Joseph Estrada, who has reportedly agreed to run as Danding Cojuangco’s VP (what a twist, if true).

The good news is that Jovy Salonga and Nene Pimentel have joined forces. Between Ramos and Salonga, I’ll take Salonga anytime. I don’t see him as “too old,” rather, as experienced and wise. (We take our elders too much for granted.) I think he’ll be good for the nation, which at this point I can’t say for anyone else.

Sugal gawing legal

Diyaryo Filipino Oct1989

Aliwan page din lang ito, pag-usapan natin ang iba pang aliwan ng Pinoy bukod sa pultika’t showbiz. Itong sugal, halimbawa, na pilit na ipinagbabawal ng batas. Sabi raw ni Senador Jovito Salonga, matapos i-aprub ng senado ang isang bill na naglalayong bumuwag sa lahat ng casino by 1992 (Globe Oct 14), “. . . Our nation can never achieve greatness unless we encourage our citizens to embrace the ethics of hard work, honest toil, self discipline and sacrifice – not the temptation of instant wealth . . .”

Hmmm. Ewan ko rin. Ako kasi ay nagsusugal paminsanminsan. Tatay ko ang nagturo sa aming magkakapatid ng larong mahjong, 13 yata ako noon. Sa asawa ko’t mga bayaw naman ako natutuong maglaro ng blackjack, pusoy, pekwa, poker, betobeto, high-and-low, at roulette, at sa Tiaong (Quezon) ako natutong tumaya sa jueteng. Dati madalas at malakas kaming magsugal magkakaanak (miron na lang si erpat), kung hindi mahjong, blackjack, naeeskandalo na nga si ermat dahil hindi naman kami pareparehong madadatung, no? Tapos ang dami na ring mga kai-kaibigang dumadayo, nabalitaang masaya’t malakas ang labanan, e di siyempre naiba na rin hung timpla, hindi na friendly, talutalo na. Di nagtagal, natauhan kaming mga misis at itinigil muna namin ang get-togethers. Ngayon, madalang at mahina na kaming magsugal, maliban kung nasa Baguio kami, hindi maiwasan yung casino, kahit sandali, trip lang, manalo o matalo.

Sa palagay ko, itong hilig at abilidad ng tao sa sugal ay depende sa karma ng bawat isa – merong mahilig, merong hindi. Tulad din ito ng hilig at abilidad sa sex, o sa musika, o sa sports, hindi basta-basta mapipigil, may sarili kasing puwersa, at nasa bawat isa kung hanggang saan pagbibigyan angudyok. At nasa sa karma rin yung malas o suwerte sa sugal. Meron talagang ipinanganganak na suwerte, mayroon namang malas, pagdating sa risk-taking, at mayroon ding pabawi lang parati. Siyempre, ang dumadayo madalas sa pasugalan ay yung suwerte’t pabawi, pero meron ding mas malas kaysa suwerte, at sila ang pinoproblema ng iglesiya’t simbahan, at ng mga moralista kuno.

Problema raw itong mga sugarol na nasisira ang ulo at buhay at pamilya dahil sa sugal, nawawalan kasi ng kontrol, pati pang pagkain ng pamilya’t pangmatrikula ng anak ay napapakialaman, umaasa kasing makakabawi,makakajackpot, makapag-uuwi ng lmpak-limpak na salapi, na bihirang mangyari, kaya merong nagpapakamatay, meron ding nagbebenta ng droga’t babae, makaipon lang nga pampuhunan. Sey ko naman, iilan ang nagkakaganyan, at karaniwan ay kabilang sila sa malalakas tumaya.

Higit na maraming Pinoy na sugarol ang marunong namang magdala, marunong umayaw, marunong matalo, okey lang, dahil hindi lang naman yung “instant wealth” ang habol nila kundi yun ding sarap at excitement ng mismong paglalaro. Libangan, ika nga, pagkatapos ng trabaho. Ewan ko kung bakit sila ang iniiiwas ng pamahalaan sa mumurahing dibersyon at pinagdadamutan ng kahit karampot na pag-asa.

Pustahan tayo, hindi uubra yang mga batas na yan. If anything, titindi lang lalo ang problemasa illegal gambling. Kung bakit kasi hindi pa gawing legal ang sugal. E di sana mareregulate at mamomonitor na ang mga pasugalan na tinatangkilik ng publiko. E di sana matitigil na ang pagdadatung ng gambling lords kung kanikanino, gobyerno na mismo ang dadatungan by paying taxes. E di may pag-asang mabawasbawasan ang ating kauutang at kapapalimos ng foreign aid. O di ba?