The truth about sexual harassment #azkals

16 March 2012

By Katrina Stuart Santiago

Is that it happens to the best of us. It happens to every Pinay who commutes and suffers through a “miss miss miss!” from the tambay in the kanto or the kuya construction worker; it happens to every Pinay who has had to deal with a policeman looking at her legs through the window of her car. It happens to us even when all it might be is a lewd gaze from a random commuter, or a guy at a restaurant, or a student, or a teacher, or a boss. Or talk of the size of our breasts in a roomful of male athletes.

Cristina Ramos’ complaint of sexual harassment against the Azkals is all too familiar to me, and I don’t need to be a Sports Commissioner tasked with doing a pre-match inspection for me to sympathize. If you’ve experienced sexual harassment in any form, then you know how it can bring you to tears, how it can make you feel so small, and how it can only be a threat to you as a woman. And it’s the same whether you walk the streets on the way to work, or you enter the national football team’s locker room because you are so required by your job.

It is the same: sexual harassment is sexual harassment is sexual harassment.

Of course this complaint against the Azkals can only be larger than the manong throwing a lewd glance my way. The latter is a random daily occurrence of sexual harassment which one doesn’t get used to but which one expects. The former is within a set of circumstances that should have been controlled, within which decency was expected, during which respect should have been default. Ramos after all was in that locker room on official business, she had the right to expect a team dressed and ready for inspection, she had a right to expect a halt in testosterone and boisterous machismo, at least for the duration of her official presence in that room.

She had a right to expect that all the members of this team would be properly dressed, i.e., why would most of the team be in uniforms and one guy be in his underwear still? She had the right to expect proper decorum at the very least. Certainly the statement “Must be a B cup”delivered to the laughter and amusement of the rest of the all-male team that was there, could be nothing but sexual harassment, could be nothing but an assessment of the one woman in the room based on how large her breasts are. There was no excuse – no excuse at all – for those words to have even been articulated as if it’s a punchline to some running testosterone-driven joke.

And it is ultimately unfair to say that Ramos was imagining things, or wanting to “get attention” as one of them Azkals insinuates, or that the B-cup was referring to something else as another says. These excuses, along with having the more famous captain of the team saying that this is something that’s been blown out of proportion, are brush-offs that no one, least of all Ramos, needs to hear. These are brush-offs that hit at the victim’s credibility, excuses that shouldn’t even be on the table at this point.

Here is where Arnold Clavio was so right: the thing to do at the point of being accused of committing sexual harassment was to apologize. Clavio was en pointe: bakit kayo nagpalusot pa? Why could this not have been a sorry, quick and easy, the kind that any respectable Pinoy man would do, with head bowed, pasensya na, na-offend kayo Ma’am. Even the most macho of our stereotypical men, from Robin Padilla to Joseph Estrada, all of them, would know to raise their hands in surrender, and on bended knee say sorry for their inappropriate behavior, never putting into question how the woman felt, how she had taken offense. As per Clavio: “Lagi nating ilagay do’n sa nagrereklamo, siya yung na-offend eh. Sa sexual harassment laging binibigyang-diin diyan, kung naramdaman mong nabastos ka.”

It’s the same way that I know when a man stares at my breasts, or my legs, or looks me in the eye as we converse; in the same way that any woman would know when she is being ogled versus being treated with respect. The Azkals are in no position to question Ramos’ statements that she felt sexually harassed in that locker room; the woman who cries sexual harassment is articulating a feeling, a sense of being belittled, of being maltreated based on her gender. The proper response was a sorry, full stop.

Ah, but apparently in third- world patriarchal Philippines, we can take sexual harassment and make the men look like the victims – especially when those men are part of a well-loved Philippine sports team. Apparently here, we will re-focus all our energies on crying racist! Even when all that’s being pointed out is the fact that these boys did not grow up here, and therefore had no sense of the Robin Padilla respecting-women-while-being-a-bad-boy school of ironic gentlemanly behavior. Here, we will all fall silent instead of supporting the woman who dared point a finger at bad behavior; and then in the next breath we will judge anyone who criticizes the adored pretty-boy-athletes .

Here in this instance, we prove that instead of a collective disgust at those accused of sexual harassment, we will be more certain about vilifying the woman, whose intentions are questioned, her reasons for crying foul seen as foolish or presumptuous. And here we are all reminded about how patriarchy is so deeply ingrained in our psyches that we are still being told that we ask to be harassed because of how we look, what we wear, where we go. We forget that it is our fundamental right to live free of harassment, sexual and otherwise. It is our fundamental right to freedom that is being denied us when we are told not to do certain things because kabastusan is just around the corner.

Republic Act 9262 or the “Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004″ exists in this day and age precisely because men have yet to prove that they can deal with women’s freedoms. Meanwhile, sexual harassment exists because men continue to think of women as objects: body parts to be assessed in terms of size, body parts to jack off to, body parts period. Sexual harassment happens not because the woman is in the wrong place at the wrong time: it’s because the man continues to conform to the stereotype of being a chauvinist pig, unable to look a woman in the eye and see her as an equal because she is a person, full stop. The act of sexual harassment is always and necessarily one that puts the woman in her place: it’s a place that puts her beneath the man.

I don’t know about you, but men who get a kick out of kabastusan and belittling women in this day and age? They are nothing but boys. And I don’t care how many medals the Azkals win for this country, it seems that for them the more difficult task is looking a woman in the eye, treating her as an equal, and apologizing for having offended her. Seriously boys, get some balls and man the fuck up.

13 Responses to The truth about sexual harassment #azkals

  1. March 16, 2012 at 9:11 am
    Bert

    I love big breast, and nice legs, love looking at it, really love looking at it, admiring the beauty of the shape, and the texture of it. It’s my right to admire and love things beautiful according to my taste.

    If it’s called sexual harassment by some who love to display it for my visual enjoyment, so be it.

    • March 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

      yes, as all men do, love looking at big breasts and nice legs. but i’d like to think that well-bred men know enough to be disimulado about ogling and leering so as not to offend.

      • March 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm
        baycas

        Bawal ang nanghuhubad na tingin.

  2. March 16, 2012 at 10:50 pm
    Anton

    This is too much. You judge too much, hate too much, defend too much. You are broadening the constitutional definition of sexual harassment, all while bringing it up? Makes no sense to me. Stop with the crab mentality, be proud of what they do for us and just wait for the final verdict before jumping into conclusions! Don’t take sides!

  3. March 17, 2012 at 8:14 pm
    elena d miraflor

    i’m 100% percent agree sa opinion ninyo ni mr clavio, ms santiago. dahil sa media hype na ginawa ng abs-cbn sa mga hilaw na pilipinong members ng azkal at ginawa silang mala rock star, eh nagsilakihan na ang mga ulo. racist? bias? eh sila ang bias dahil puro hilaw na pinoy (?) ang nire recruit nila samantalang ang daming magagaling ng probinsiyanong kabataan na kulang lang sa exposure. bias? eh mas bias pa nga ang PFF, bakit napaka denfesive sila agad? linisin na muna nila bakuran nila! si ms locsin, nabubulagan ka lang sa ka mestisohan ng boypren mo. ginagamit ka lang ng network mo dahil dagdag sa rating nila me boypren kang member ng azkals. huwag kang umasa, dahil darating ang araw ng maghihiwalay din kayo. pahiwatig nila attention getting lang si ms ramos, eh nung presidente nga tatay niya ni hindi pumapapel yung ale eh di lalo pa ngayon. she’s just doing her job. double thumbs up to you ms santiago and mr clavio!!

    • March 19, 2012 at 1:18 am

      “puro hilaw na pinoy (?) ang nire recruit nila samantalang ang daming magagaling ng probinsiyanong kabataan na kulang lang sa exposure” MISMO! IYAN ang racist!

  4. March 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Another hare-brained article. If the author is an Fil-For (I assume that’s what the “Stuart” means in her name), she probably is too dense to realize that she was among those said by CRAB-io as “not Filipino”. Ano ba ang sinabi ni CRAB-io? “eh hindi naman kayo Filipino, nagpapanggap lang kayong kayumanggi”.

    As for Cristy just “doing her job”, how the heck did she get that job in the first place? What are her “qualifications” for her to be appointed as “Football Match Commissiner”? She clearly has very little qualifications, aside from the fact that she is the daughter of a former President of the Republic of the Philippines. So she got her position out of connections and influence.

    • March 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm

      wait a minute.. good old ph is the land of connections, never mind influence. and being a presidential scion is not a crime. if kris a can get good jobs, what’s wrong with that?

  5. March 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    the stuarts are from imus, cavite. the original scot came and settled here, married a pinay, in the early 1800s. our ninunos fought in the philippine revolution 1898 alongside emilio aguinaldo.

  6. March 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Ina, congrats for a well balanced opinion. this is probable your forte. These rAskals are supposed to be “well-bred” clone of Fil-foreigners whose EQ in Good Morals and Conduct is higher than the local athletes. Unfortunately, they have proven us wrong. Instead of apologizing, they still have the gall to cry foul for their own mis-behaviour especially to a lady bureacrat who they think/treated as an ordinary slave govt employee . Ano ba ang nagawa nila for the country? WALA, NADA, even elimination palang for World stage out na, inspite of the financial support of MVP. Nakakahiya sila.

  7. March 23, 2012 at 2:46 am
    Steve

    we also have the right to voice out our opinion just like you. your definition of sexual harassment is a bit too much that you belong in a country that wears a burqa and separated from men. might as well cover yourself head to toe and call it the day. the azkals/crabio/ramos is only a way for you to really piss your opinion on us. hater…………

  8. March 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm
    horge

    Regardless of HOW Cristy Ramos got her job, she was a duly-accredited official, performing a scheduled official function,
    when the alleged sexual harrassment took place. Clearly, she was offended enough to lodge a complaint.

    Azkals team manager Dan Palami, to his credit, offered his unvarnished contrition: “On behalf of the team, I sincerely apologize to Commissioner Ramos for the distress this situation has caused her”, and promised to pursue an investigation.

    PFF and AFC investigations are pending, but everything ELSE that followed, including idiotic comments made by a newsanchor, are quite irrelevant to Ramos’ formal complaint; no matter how eager some Azkal fans are, to make it seem that Clavio’s stupidity somehow discredits Cristy Ramos’ complaint.

    • March 24, 2012 at 2:04 am
      GabbyD

      i like this comment. 100%. thanks horge.

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