“I am not okay.”

17 November 2013

Posted by Squall Renzokuken on Facebook
Tacloban (and nearby Waray towns) Yolanda Update
15 Nov 7:49 am

On a personal note: In the past few days, concerned friends have asked me “how are you?”. On any given day, we don’t really answer this question truthfully. So let me be honest, I am not okay. I feel like I’ve just been ripped apart and the ground swallowed my heart and soul. Just because I’m not bleeding on the outside doesn’t mean I’m not injured. Tacloban is my childhood. All my happy memories as a young kid growing up are all tied to Leyte and Tacloban. When I think of how Tacloban just disappeared. That it will never resemble the way it was before gives me more pain that I can ever describe. If you meet someone from Tacloban, wherever they are, Manila, Cebu, US, Canada, Dubai, London, Sydney, wherever they are. They are feeling that exact pain. There is no description for this level of pain. So please be patient with us as we all try to find ways to heal. We will cry for no reason. We will forget where our keys are. We will not function as we used to. Our past has just been obliterated. We all have to start in the middle. This pain will not go away until Tacloban returns back to something close to normal. And that will take time. Maybe it won’t be until I’m 50 years old when Tacloban is back again to where it was before. So if you’re asking how I am, I am in a terrible state. But like every other Waraynon, I am made of metal far stronger than all the metals in the world. Basta waray, maisog. I just need time and understanding. So when I say ‘thank you’ for your help, I mean it. It is no ordinary ‘thank you’. Every little bit of your support is like the pieces that will put me back together so I can become whole again. On a practical term, this means I am seeing a grief counsellor and I suggest that anyone who feels like I do should get professional help. You may not be okay but you are not alone. Draw on other people’s love and support as much as you can.

Posted in disasters, yolanda

2 Responses to “I am not okay.”

  1. November 17, 2013 at 8:45 pm
    Bert

    To those who perished in the typhoon, it’s the end of the world, Our heart felt condolences to their families who were left behind.

    To the living who survive…it’s not the end of the world.

    • November 17, 2013 at 9:01 pm
      joji

      bert@
      My wife, her brother and I visited Tacloban City for a conference last June 17,2013, and by all accounts it seems what I saw for the first time was disastrously damage even the Bethany Hospital we visited and stayed for a while. Only the San Juanico Bridge, because it was world-class structure stands majestically among the rubble which I saw for the first time only this year since its opening in 1770s. I believe the Leytenons and Samarnons are deeply Christians but we cannot the see God’s reasons for sending us the End-of-times reckoning.

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